Alright just hear me out for this one... I think this story treated the mother's actions right and I say this as the kid of a woman who married someone she didn't want to and stayed married to him, it's a lot easier to think you would break a cycle then actually break a cycle. Like the fact that the margrave mentioned that it doesn't absolve her of blame for her actions feels like it's a good understanding of what the mother did and just kinda how these things happen im real life
She's also a victim of the situation and the systems in place made it hard for her to go against that. But she's complicit to all the things the dad did, she definitely could have fought harder to save the kids