I know this is probably not the best place to ask and honestly Reddit might be a better area to ask this kind of advice but I have never used that app before so I’m using the forums here since I at least know how to use this.
Something to know about me before I delve into this is I am in my 20s. This will make sense to mention later on. So I’ve been playing on this Roblox game for a little bit and have been enjoying just chilling and making pretty outfits on it. One day someone came up to me and kind of sparked up a small conversation. Not one to shy from talk I responded. Somehow it lead to this person basically trauma dumping to me and also sharing the fact that they are only 12 years old. Keep in mind I am in my 20s and this child not only shared personal information to a stranger, but some random adult on a video game! I am now absolutely worried for this kid and kind of feel like I had a duty to try and make sure they learn about internet safety and to not be sharing personal information.
Fast forward to like a month and I’m still interacting with this kid because I guess me being nice and worried about this kid’s wellbeing made them want to hang out with me. At this point I’m noticing that this kid is becoming more and more attached to me as time goes on. They apparently told all their friends about me, have been basically glued by my side whenever we play this game, and even been calling me their best friend. Keep in mind, I am in my 20s and this child is 12, I am becoming rapidly concerned that they can get themself in a bad situation if they are trusting to any adult that is mildly nice to them. Recently though, this kid something rather insensitive to another person, the person got really heated and when they got defensive I tried to explain why what they did was wrong. This lead to the kid leaving and unfriending me on the game. Afterwards though, they started to message me rapidly apologizing and saying that they love me.
I’m now realising too late that this kid may have become so dependent on me and that the line of boundaries have been crossed. I have no idea what to do. While I would like to distance myself, I’m afraid of what they’ll do and how it may affect them. They’re a child and I don’t want to cause distress or harm to them, but I also understand that as an adult this interaction and relation that has been built is not healthy for them.
I’m just looking for any kind of unbiased advice or input currently, so any reply would be appreciated.
i'm of the opinion that no kid should be befriending an adult and vice versa. i get that you have the common interest (i.e. roblox) but there is an inherent power imbalance between the two of you. it's YOU who should set and make those boundaries clear. you can start to distance yourself gradually and try to explain to encourage them to make friends with kids his age, not adults.
Yeah you’re right, the blame does inherently fall on me as I am the adult and I should know better. My only issue is how do I distance myself without hurting the kid?
At this age, kids are quite literally very dumb. The most you can do is warn them, since you both don't even know each other irl. Talk to them with no filter, and try telling them the possibilities of them over sharing and depending on you. The more straight forward you are, the better they'll understand. If they still don't listen, then try ghosting them for a bit or being dry.
could u like make an excuse that you're gonna get too busy w work or uni so u wont be able to come online at all. like I don't think u HAVE to just straight up tell them making an excuse could work too IMO
Certainly at this era, children are easily influenced by their surroundings especially in video games.. it'll be hard to explain to them about the dangers and possibilities that they might encounter in the internet bc they're too young and naive to understand.. the best thing you'll need to do is by influencing and teaching them what might happen if they depend on a random stranger they met on the internet..
I've experienced something similar to this situation a few times in Roblox too..I've simply just slowly explain to them about boundaries and teach them about how over sharing about their lives in ppl in the internet is dangerous.. sometimes this kind of method doesn't work, I'd simply tell them that I'm giving them an advice and if they can't listen to it then it's their choice bc I'm only doing that for their own good..
I’m a tad confused by what you mean by talking with little filter. I do get the straight forward thing as you are right, I probably have to be straight forward when it comes to something like this
I could, in fact I was just recently admitted into a graduate program which will eat up some of my time. I’m just terrified that if they get close to the wrong person, what if they become attached to someone who ends up hurting them or worst?
I think the smartest thing to do is to stop being friends. clearly there are some boundaries being crossed, and I don't want to repeat anything everyone else has already said so I reccomend saying your busy with work- or another way would be to straight up explain your side and how your friendship is inappropriate given the age gap. make sure they understand you don't necessarily hate them or anything (to prevent a bad outcome, you don't have to but I think it depends on their mental state) and end it there
Just my advice, it's ultimately up to you!!
And that terrifies me. Like sure my generation had technology but the accessibility now is more dangerous then ever. I guess I feel like have a sense of duty? Responsibility? As an adult to try and teach them internet safety. Because of that though this child is unhealthily dependent on my opinion on them. I’ve already told them countless of times about sharing personal information and getting close to people can be dangerous but I feel like I’m getting nowhere
I mean you don't need to be nice and sugar-coat things, just straight up tell them the problem or else they'll never truly understand their fault
True.. Mostly of the time, they're are kinda stubborn when it comes to getting advices from older people like us. As much as you want to not hurt their feelings you kinda need to be straightforward to them. Being nice isn't a choice but sometimes you'll need to be a bit stern if they won't accept it through the nicest way possible. Honestly at this point it's like we're gentle parenting them.. It may take time but they'll surely learn more about the dangers of the internet themselves or any other way..
you've given your time to give them advices so you did the best thing.. do tell them that you've tried giving them awareness and if they can't accept it then.. they'll probably learn about it in the future.. there might be certain events that y'now something would happen to them and at that point hopefully your advices would pop up on their mind and they'll realize it.. it's hard to think they'll mostly likely take it the hard way instead of taking advices.. that's how life is honestly. They'll need to learn it the hard way to realize all of the advices you've given to them were right all along.
This is just me being curious, but what do y'all think the percentage is of LGBTQ+ users compared to cis straight users here?
And I swear to god if anyone is being queerphobic/transphobic to anyone who replies to this I will pour milk in your shoes. Not a threat, but a promise
I heard that there is a good amount of straight women on these websites. To be fair not everything on here is LGBTQ+ , but I’m like 99% sure it’s known mostly for its BLs. In all reality there is probably of surplus of fetishizers on here (I think that because the most disgusting and disturbing relationships are the most popular bc of their smut). So maybe like 40% LGBTQ+ and 60% cis straight users.
What's something when it comes comics, novels, or fanfiction that will cause you to not read it or drop it later on? Like writing style, characterisation, etc.
Personally, I will not read anything that's in first-person or second-person. Can't really stand it. The only time I read anything of the two was for Song of Achilles. I also will drop a work if I hate the ML. I have dropped so many manhwas and manga because the love interest was straight up trash and I want to throw a brick at their face.
Comics full of smut with zero plot = straight drop
Ugly haircut
Do you ever have that moment reading the comments of one of the manga/manhwa/manhua and thinking: "Oh, you are for certain not above the age of 18"? Like that moment their the energy just excudes "child" or someone who hasn't experienced a certain stage in life.
Because I sometimes pause when I see a certain comment/take for works here and think "Should you even be seeing this at this age?" or "That feels like something someone who is too young to emphasis with this situation to be this judgey". This is meant to be in the most light hearted way because I'm sure there are people who are far younger than myself who are more articulate and have a better comprehension of certain situations, especially in works of fiction.
I don't know, it kind of spiralled when I saw a comments on works with teen main characters absolutely ripping at them for not being the best at handling a situation or how they deal with their trauma and the aftermath. Like, come on these are teens they're not therapists. They're not going to always know the right thing to say or even always do the best thing for the situation. Heck, even adults don't always know we screw up all the damn time we're a fucking mess. Maybe the ones who left those comments were full grown adults and they just think these kids should know all the solutions and be perfect. Who knows.
Am I overthinking this? I probably am
I think you’re right. First of all, there’s a reason why porn is meant for 18+, unfortunately, a lot of people younger than that get their hands on it. Not that 18 year olds are a paradigm of maturity, but at least there is some kind of expectation of that from them. Anyway, I do think that sometimes (a lot of times) these kids just jump on bandwagons because is the cool thing to do, even if they have no actual opinion about the topic. Right or wrong, you should be able to defend your opinion, but most of the time if pressed, the rebuttal is a type of “because I said so.”.
lowkey i’ve been on this app since 2020 and i only just recently turned 18 lol
Can't say i m here since. I was 13 now I m in my 20s soo i can't say anything about it
I am absolutely losing my mind with this, but can/do you guys read smut with characters that have the same name as a family member?
I have the unfortunate circumstance where I have brothers, and both brothers have the most basic white names you’ll come across, pretty sure it’s like top ten or twenty used ever. I usually come across with this issue when it comes to Western media, but you’d think I’d be safe with Manhwas right? They’re just going to use Korean names right? Right????
WRONG!
I HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE PAIN OF READING SOME OF THE HOTTEST JUICIEST SUMMARIES TO ONLY FIND OUT THE CHARACTERS HAVE ONE OF MY BROTHERS’ NAMES!!!! I ALREADY HAD TO STOP READING FANFICTION FOR ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SHIPS BECAUSE I REALISED ONE OF THEM HAD MY DAD’S ENGLISH NAME NOW I HAVR TO DEAL WITH THIS???
Anyways do you guys/have you guys read smut with the characters having the same name of a family member?
i dont have this issue with family members specifically but sometimes there will be a character in a smutty bl who has the same name as a character i like who i dont want to see/think about in smutty contexts/situations and this annoys me too lol
It definitely feels a bit odd lmao. I mostly read mangas, manhwas, etc., so I rarely see any of my family’s basic English names, but I’ve read a yaoi manga where one of the dudes had MY name (me, a girl w/ a feminine-ass name mind you) and it weirded me out . I feel like I would totally be taken aback if I came across a family member’s name, idk if I could read it
I had a similar problem with a Manhwa where the main character had my name. I tried so hard to read it but cringed every time I saw my name
I get that!!! It’s like I already associate this name with a character and a personality and now this other character has the same name?? And it’s smut?? Blasphemy!!
I can read it, but I feel weird about it, so I just call the characters by their initial like my younger sibling's name is common, but like the area where I live, I haven't heard or met anyone with the same name, but then it just had to come up in a manhwa, well glad they were sort of a side character, but omg, like every time I reread it I always forget about the name until the character is brought up
I’ve never really encountered this issue, and I wouldn’t stop me from reading, but I’ve encountered names of fictional characters on real people and I do find that a bit odd. Like I know these names are real name that real people are named, whenever I’ve encountered them I find it a bit weird (I’m referring mostly to foreign names that I wouldn’t encounter in my day to day in real life).
There's mnhwa out there where the ML share the same name as my biological brother.
It is kinda weird but all i do is change the name with something else, ykwim? I just treat the name like y/n..
For example, let's say ML name is jim, everytime i read his name, i just change it to Michael
So it doesn't bother me anymore, and i also do this everytime i found a character name that is too hard to pronounce ╮(￣▽￣)╭