beta
.... and I already caught up. What the fucking hell...
This poor girl has literally been GROOMED by pedophiles and predators since she was a child- which explains her current psychological state of having no personal boundaries, no sense of right or wrong, no sense of danger, and being hypersexualized through SA trauma. A drunk mother who abandoned her, no mention of a father, a grandmother that beats her every other day, and living in a village every day of her life (sometimes even multiple times a day) where sexual assault is "just another way of life".
And when I read during the chapters that the grandmother already made arrangements for one of the old predatory men in the village to drive her daughter for errands the next day, and got mad when she refused to go with the man, but take the bus instead- that tripped a major alarm for me. How the girl gets to and from her destination should not matter as long as she gets what her grandmother wants. Why is she pushing so hard to have her ride with that old man?! I was wondering why she didn't tell the grandmother right then and there why she didn't trust the man.... But given the grandmother's behavior and how she treats her, the girl already knows the grandmother will never protect her. What is going to piss me off about the grandmother is if we find out that she knows what has been happening to her granddaughter since she was a child, and all throughout her life as they lived in the village with all those predatory neighbors and nearby townsmen grooming and abusing her on a regular basis for all the years of her life that she has errands there. That she knew all the men in the region have been praying on her granddaughter and she lets it happen.... trading favors and ease of life for her daughter's safety and innocence, as long as her needs to get met. As far as I'm concerned, the entire village and everybody in it can burn to the ground.
This new man (the boyfriend) started off as just another piece of shit, but the character development written for him is turning out well. He is on his own healing journey with the granddaughter- him being her salvation, and her being the mirror through which he sees the negative and disgusting sides of himself, and wants to change and become a better man for her and himself. I am so proud of him.
I understand everybody's urges and wishes for her to just dump everybody and run off with him.... But trauma bonds are a hell of a thing to beat- especially once they've reached the level of Stockholm syndrome. As she said in earlier chapter- she felt like a dog that had been chained up its entire life. And even if the chain was taken off, the dog would still pace around in the same exact spot because it had never known freedom or anything beyond the space that it existed in. It would be too terrified to move out of that space. Add to that the fact that the grandma is the last remaining blood relative that she has, and the guilt of knowing that if it wasn't for the grandmother she would have been dead a long time ago- the girl is guilt-bound to stay loyal by that grandmother's side unless she is taken from there by force or the grandmother dies.
Unfortunately, I know this kind of crap all too well because I have literally lived it. There are some abusive elements to this girl's story that replicates my entire childhood history and into adulthood, and I can say from experience it is never easy to run and flee, not to even to save yourself. In some cases, a victim will literally die there if no one rescues them. Your mind can literally be turned into your own prison after years of mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical manipulation. Freedom itself can be extremely terrifying if its never been experienced and you will literally stay in the environment that's full of terror, abuse, pain, and fear because it's more consistent and comfortable because it's all you know. (This can be so damaging that the effects continue even after a victim has been freed, but in another form called "masochistic equilibrium", which can mess with your ability to move forward in life, form relationships, or reach for new opportunities.) It is extremely hard to break through and get past, but it is not impossible.
All I can say is this... The boyfriend is going to need a lot of patience and understanding to help her get past this and get her out of this town to safety.
Waiting to see how the story develops...