Zwat want to read (All 1302)
beta
I'll stay for the smut but I have a few critiques.
In chapter 6, nobody would talk like that. 'He has no idea it's due to your power to negate other's abilities'. What? Why would you say that out loud? You knew the fact already. Nobody in that situation would say it out loud especially someone as 'professional' as Ian. Also the drug? We knew what drug it was, we don't need a flashback. It happened not too long ago. I know this is so stupid to rant about and those decisions ultimately benefits the readers. But to me it solidifies that this is some weak storytelling. But it's not everyday we get old men yaoi so I'll stay.
Yes!! It’s something called “forced exposition” we even see it in movies and shows. It’s lazy. It avoids the “show don’t tell” part of writing. You have a right to hate it. Most of us do T.T
Seolah baby, no matter how horny you are, let him wash his hands before touching you. Please.... You gotta take care of that orifice