beta
im still reading and i'm not even at the part where the mc has a love interest, but honestly seunghee is lowkey real. when he was talking about how over and over again, in real life he's spent his time getting crushes and forcing himself to move on because they'll never like him back. that's why he goes online in queer spaces because he will never have these opportunities in real life.
and that's why he's frustrated at seungtaek and kyubin because they, unlike him, have found someone who returns their feelings and they're gay. worst part, they clearly return their feelings but are hesitant to start their relationship. seunghee even says he's frustrated, but also jealous. jealous that they are able to have a high school romance that isn't ending up in one-sided feelings.
that's why he asked that groomer dude, does feeling that twisted feeling hoping that it would end miserably because all of seunghee's own experiences ended badly make seunghee a bad person? And while i'm sincerely hoping the groomer dude isn't the real love interest, I will at least say his advice was really needed and actually good advice.
He told him that yes it is more difficult for gay people to meet in real life, under 'normal' circumstances because there's so much to deal with socially. But he also noted, that if seunghee cut off every instance of opportunities, you might miss out on something really good happening to you. Groomer guy told him that he likes to believe that you can meet anyone at any time and that if seunghee adopted this, he would feel better. Pretty solid advice coming from a groomer (fuck him)
And I do stand by this advice. I'm a lesbian and I came out when I was like 12. I'm 20 now and I think I can give my honest experience. Funnily enough, for whatever reason I've been able to have relationship experience. Maybe it's both harder and easier because I'm a girl dating other girls. Even though I'm an asian american born and raised in the south of US. Despite the prejudice that should've been there, I guess I'm glad I live in the one area that people didn't care, even though I'm in the middle of nowhere.
I say all of this because I was able to date other girls in middle and high school despite everything. And even though I'm guilty of just girls asking me out and me accepting even if I wasn't into them, I dated them and got to like them. I just wanted to date girls and I'm glad I took these opportunities instead of hiding myself and shutting myself off. I know it's hard to be brave and come out publicly, but I'm glad I did and nothing too bad happened to me. Also funnily enough I'm 20 now and my last girlfriend i had when I was 15. I was gonna be regretful, but I'm in college now and I've found great friends and especially other queer friends too.
Right now I'm young and always down to have fun. But most importantly, it is hard dating when you're gay. That's just how it is, but more than that, when you get older, you'll truly understand the importance of having friends and being in a community. Because yes if you love romance, dating will be great. But even more than that, having a community is also important to have, extremely important. Especially if you want to be in queer spaces with the queer community, learning queer history is important. I just want to say that even if you are alone and find it hard to date, it's not the end of the world. Don't shut yourself off from opportunities and if there are none, just have fun with your friends. If you're gay, don't give up it will work out in time. And if you're old and single, girl dating aint shit anyways. just go have fun with friends