Moonlight's Things

I have my parents and relatives that are so toxic that make me want to kill me because of fear, anxiety, stress and depression.
My parents beat the shit out of me when i was a child in order to make me a good kid who behaves correctly. Now, they act normal most of the times, but they still don´t respect me and make it difficult for me and my brothers to value ourselves. I have a lot of traumas that thinking about committing suicide is one of the most normal things i do now.
I have a little sister with a lot of traumas too. If I am still alive is bc I want to protect her, however, we have no clue about what to do.
It´s difficult for me to get a job and I try to study for my own benefit but in this environment it´s really hard just to breathe fresh air. Idk if anyone is going to read this, but I just want to kill myself so much just to end with this shit asap.