Bruised Heart

I’ve been with a toxic, obsessive narcissist like this before, and what I can say is… there is a sort of dark pleasure when you read these stories from the safety of a screen. When it’s all fiction, that intensity feels exciting.

Before my toxic relationship, I used to think I wanted a man who would yearn for me obsessively, someone who was head over heels and couldn’t think of anything but me. And then it happened. At first, it felt like a trophy — I got exactly what I thought I wanted. I lived in his head 24/7. He was desperate for my love, desperate for my attention, desperate for my heart.

But when I finally fell for him too, the reality hit. His “devotion” became possession. His arms felt like claws—tight, suffocating, controlling. He tried to overpower me at every turn. His love wasn’t love at all; it was pure lust, obsession, and insecurity wrapped in the illusion of passion.

The difference between me and those fictional girls is that I’m not shallow and I’m not powerless. I stayed for a while because I wanted to fight for my love and believed I could fix things. But that delusion dies fast when you realize he’s a dead end. And I got myself out for my self-respect and my value, no matter how hard it was.

So believe me — the things we romanticize aren’t hot, steamy, or pretty when they become your reality. You don’t understand what you’ve walked into until you’re living it.

So yeah… let’s keep that stuff in fiction, for entertainment. In real life, romanticizing that kind of “love” is seriously fucked.

Gotta say love the art the sex scenes that battle royal was hot loved the parts where ml/bottom could show some dominance back at the top maybe I even liked the fucked up personalities with their traumas and issues but this story had to have more logic and sense not some blonde hottie mafia having full on power ın every time something didint go his way i enjoyed it but like the abused the trauma wasn’t deeply shown enough i think the ml had to leave maybe even cheat and be with the other guy who wanted to be with him make the story more juicy logical and the biggest point that disturbed me is the top literally raped him mentally abused him the way when things didint go his way he like either shot the ml or cut his own throat… like ml felt nothing?? Biggest gaslight and manipulation and as a lawyer he was like idk what’s right and wrong.. HOW THE HECK HE A DAMN LAWYER THEN??? He would just throw a small tantrum and continue feeling the same way towards the top?? ok Stockholm syndrome but still like none of them had any friends no one really said wtf is going on with them this isnt healthy etc like everyone is just mafia and one lawyer who gets fucked by a man who is literally a hot drawn psychopath… the story could have been just chef’s kiss with more logic and depth but that is just my own opinion.