beta
So… it took me some time to realize that even Ian’s name comes from (Br)Ian. He is literally a part of himself and his soul. And the reason a lot of people can’t wrap their head around them being the same person is because a part of him is still missing and I’m not talking only about his previous life’s memories. While I see decent amount of people waving to Ian/Lorkan in recent chapters, I decided to write my little essay on those things and why it can’t happen.
So, I think a lot of people got the impression that this is not a regular love triangle story with “I have feelings for both, who should I choose”, because Cardinal is not that interested in having romantic relationship with Ian (we’ll talk about it later) and Brian/Ian clearly has no romantic swings towards him either. The story itself is build around two opposite ideas, old as the time: mind vs heart, desire vs duty, etc. Lorkan and Sol clearly represent these ideas along with things around them. Sol is about magic, Arcaia, free choice, honesty, consent and all the good things. Lorkan is about order, Derwin, duty, “curse” and everything relatively bad. I think the most important part is how Ian feels about interacting with those things. If you go back to beginning of the story, you’ll notice how everything in Derwin is gray, lifeless, corrupted and based on lies. And more importantly, how unhappy Ian is in this world built for him (the whole Derwin is literally a cage Lorkan made for his “bird”). The fact that Ian oversleeps every single day, disrespects his knight’s duties occasionally is not only about his night agenda but also about how much he is depressed, lost and confused about his life. “People who are dissatisfied with their current lives (…) and I was one of those people”. While he is with Sol, he feels comfort, safety, being seen and understood, he finds peace within his presence and his mana (while Lorkan’s is suffocating). Being around Sol is like enjoying sun laying on the lawn, it is warm and fulfilling. Cardinal presence is more like desperately reaching to a lantern in the dark — it is the only source of light within darkness, it reminds you of the sun, but you end up bumping into cold glass casket hurting yourself.