seoulights

i actually felt like this story was peak & one of the best reads i've had this year. maybe because i finished it in one-go & i didn't have to wait as the chapters went by, so my perspective & feelings may differ from those consistently being hung on a cliff with each update

plot-wise, i do believe it can feel more dragged on than it's supposed to be with the persistent assaults & perverse & criminal behaviour towards yeonoh by multiple characters + i think if jaehyuk wasn't so out-of-touch with his actual feelings, the story could've lost 40 of its current chapters, but i do feel the flow makes up for it, no?

regarding the assaults & disgusting behaviour - tbf, there's nothing unusual about those types of people, both the loan sharks & the jealous actor. they exist irl, & the portrayal of their behaviour aligns from
the beginning to the end of how the author made them out to be. maybe we're j angry cuz this is fictional so there may be some feelings of "it doesn't have to be written" or likewise, but it doesn't feel out-of-place or completely unnecessary purely to drag a story out. i think it was included nicely in the story

meanwhile, jaehyuk being so stupid about his feelings checks out too, at least i feel like so. his single, straight line vision has always been avenging his mother for the longest time. he set out clearly that they're a purely transactional relationship from the start, & his unraveling of feelings happened progressively. the confession might seem sudden, but it was shown that he's been stewing on this for the longest time. ntm, he's the grandson of a giant conglomerate. being nice/caring to your connections to ensure favour is practically second nature to these people, so even moreso he'd feel confused on distinguishing his behaviour/feelings for yeonoh vs everything else, especially with so many things happening that he has to take care on the side too - sponsoring yeonoh, avenging his mum, tip toeing a fine line with his grandfather, etc. i think his character was fleshed out very nicely, especially considering it's mostly shown through yeonoh's pov

other than that, what REALLY sealed this story for me was how good the story-telling is. the panels chosen, the flow, intersecting one tragedy & showing the parallel of another (i.e the scene of his father dying vs yeonoh spending time with jaehyuk... cmiiw!), the little details left here & there to foreshadow a future item (i.e how the first time yeonoh gave jaehyuk a blowjob, he mentioned yeonoh can't kiss well but can give good head, then it was revealed it's cuz yeonoh was raped by the loan shark), the past blending with the future & j so much more. i genuinely feel like this story was produced & crafted so beautifully & it invoked a lot of emotions, both good & bad, but that's exactly why i appreciate it so much more. this was like a whole artistic masterpiece, & i love it so much

also, finally - i love yeonoh & i was CHEERING for the times whenever he wanted to set boundaries. i cheered even when he followed jaehyuk in too to ensure jaehyuk calmed down. yeonoh's character was portrayed SO well. he was a complex character from the very beginning, & this story showed exactly how it is to unravel a mature character that didn't need "character development". it showed beautifully how some people are j in shitty circumstances, & how their shaped personalities are in these situations. we're human, & we're moved - we can be stubborn, yet easily bend to the whims of the people we love. we have our breaking points, & we can still pick ourselves back up alone. yeonoh is a character with so much independence & self-confidence despite having such a complex & shitty underlying background, & i love him so much for it all. he isn't a purely innocent/naive character either, with how he was almost unflinching when the loan shark was being beaten to half death right beside him either. god, that was sooo peak

i rambled a lot, but i genuinely REALLY like this story. maybe it's different cuz i don't have resentment for the author to dangle me over a cliff each time (which is also why i've chosen to pause & marinate some of my current reads too, cuz reading updates do drive you insane man), but i personally find this to be such an insanely beautiful read

oh, ALSO. the ending tied it all nicely i believe, & the extras made up for it. if the extras didn't exist, i do think i'd be left kicking my feet, cuz i always need to see the happily ever after, & not j the beginning of the happiness

below will be the spoilers from the novel if any are worried about the dog, but i'd also like to say i HATE the lack of trigger warning for animal abuse in an abundance of works. i've been reading mangas & manhwas for over a decade now, & only RECENTLY did i find ONE (1) manhwa that included a trigger warning for animal abuse. i'm someone who's extremely sensitive to animal abuse (genuine tw is necessary, i usually end up having continuous anxiety attacks for days & have very severe physical reactions to j the THOUGHT of animal abuse), so maybe i'm a minority & many don't consider it as a big issue, but i believe this story pushes this narrative of force raping the family pet too often. i always skimmed through the parts where they talk about this, & i was glad to find out the ending so i don't have as bad of a reaction now, but yeah.

the spoiler: chase DIDN'T have sex with the dog. cmiiw, but based on the novel he had sex with joshua but alphas' memories during their ruts are practically non-existent, similar to the first story of the kiss me series, kiss me, liar where the ml had no memories of "having sex" with the mc during his rut where he impregnated the mc. grayson & his other sibling for some reason kept pushing this narrative that he fucked their family dog for YEARS. idk if it'll be shown here, but they even talked about how the family dog gave birth to pups & implied the pups are chase's. it's extremely fucking disgusting. i'm glad the ending showed that nothing happened to the dog, but again, grayson brings this up quite a bit & it's genuinely j so DISGUSTING even if grayson's j fucked in the head & genuinely believes he's doing chase a favour