
my grandfather was a soldier when he was younger, and sometimes he would tell me stories about his past. he definitely has severe PTSD from being a soldier, seeing how he saw his friends died in front of him and blood and well, war.
my grandfather was not a kind father. he never hit his children (my mom included) or his wife, but he is very easily angered. he has a very short fuse and is very reserved, and a huge part of that is because he has intense war PTSD. it is very apparent that he has a lot of pain inside him and does not know how to express it. and that is the case with a lot of war veterans. the trauma of seeing deaths is like no other. it makes you question your morals and haunt you every day and night. i am proud of my grandfather for being able to grow past that and is now kinder as he gets older.
it is rare to see a historical webtoon that showcases the pain and trauma that soldiers and nurses face in times of war. oftentimes, war is written off as "an event" in the manga/webtoon/manhwa, as an event where one side wins and the other loses. in war, everybody loses. even the winning side loses due to the trauma and loss they face in war.
what Heiner went through as a child soldier is portrayed in a gruesome and graphic way, and the author takes the responsibility of writing his traumas well. how can anybody, at all, not be absolutely traumatized? keep in mind he has nobody to rely on (no parents, his friends died and one of his friends betrayed him). his only interest is in revenge against the corrupt nobles, because he is so full of pain and hatred because of Annette's father that the only way he can be free is to eliminate him and other nobles. there is frankly no other way to say this, but Annette's father deserved to die.
Annette is a very interesting individual in this story. she's not cruel to anybody and has never directly exploited anyone, but her good, cushy life only exists at the expense of others' suffering. this is where the conflict lies: Heiner resents Annette for living an ignorant life, and Annette regrets her entire life and believes she does not deserve anything due to the exploitation.
Heiner's actions are inhumane and cruel. nothing can justify this, and I believe the author did a good job at writing Heiner's character without excusing his actions. he is absolutely abusive towards Annette, and it is evident that the author and Annette knows this to be true. but the thing is, Heiner has never been shown kindness. all he was raised on and what he knows are cruelty and violence. he has never understood love and he has never witnessed anything near to it. friendship maybe, but even the friends he made are because of the environment he was put in, which is extremely unhealthy to say the least.
he is deluded into thinking he is protecting himself from Annette's ignorance, and that culminates into his terrible treatment of Annette. the author in no way tried to justify this, and the only thing the author did was showing that Heiner genuinely had love for Annette (before he killed Annette's dad). keep in mind he has no understanding of love and is acting entirely on his feelings toward Annette. he was a dream man towards Annette (before the rebellion happened) and he reconciled with himself by the end of the story that he was in fact treating Annette with love during that period of time.
my grandfather, although not abusive like Heiner (at least not physically), regrets making his family fearful of him. he's trying to make up for what he did, but i feel extremely sorry for him. was he justified for doing what he did, which is not dealing with his trauma and pushing it onto others? no. but the pain from war is not the type of pain everyone will ever understand. it is a terrible, horrible thing that i'm glad i do not have to experience. this webtoon did a good job with Heiner. It did not excuse his actions, it only portrays what he went through and why the pain built up inside of him. he is not a kind person, and the world has not been kind to him. and i think him trying to change is a beautiful thing, and i'm glad he is growing as a better person. he is the "criminal" of this story, and the author puts him into an arc of "rehabilitation". i think for a story about war, this author did an amazing work on it.
i could talk ALL DAY about annette and how she means so much to me. i read the webnovel, and her letters with another person (forgot her name but the woman she lived with after she left Heiner) have helped me so much in terms of my growth. i come back to this story multiple times to be inspired by Annette, to see her grow and change and live her life so brightly despite all she went through. but today i want to highlight Heiner's change, and how he is trying. and i think that is a beautiful message to send in this webtoon, to always try to change no matter how ugly your past is :)