damn

This is actually as realistic as it comes, I don't know if it's the same for everyone but getting your first crush or attraction as a queer person is similar to this, not to the extent but I get it. I really do get where MC is coming from and why the 'backbone' just doesn't exist when it comes to a certain someone.

This kinds of mindset is especially still prevalent in the dating scene around us and I genuinely think this was a beautifully written exploration of same sex attraction when put in the lens of someone who has been raised on what the standard hetero life would be.

I like that this manwha while not groundbreaking has enough nuance and meat to its writing that can be backed by the current dating culture you have which is if it isn't a hookup, it's generally something very much like this. We have trades, we have down low men, we have people prioritizing masc 4 masc and I get it.

Frankly, I didn't know about this series until recently and I was surprised by how well they added actual credible personality to the male lead and stuck to it to the end. MC knew what he was getting into falling for a man like that and Jesus Christ did I love how grey the characters here are.

It felt very much a noir series as much as it was a BL. Was the romance something I'd die over? Not exactly—It however excels in portraying three dimensional characters that wrestles with their motivation and attraction making choices that feels in line with human reaction.

Incredibly well thought out pair and dynamics between all characters involved, the only qualms I have is the amount of exposition in this and I feel like this caused a huge pacing issue as I found myself already getting the point of the story and mystery and being aware of the nuances in it and going "Ah, so I think X will happen cause of Y" and it does for like.. a few more chapters later which is fine but when paired with exposition, wordy dialogues and weird translated phrasings it gets incredibly lost and I find myself just skipping a few chapters only to end up being back on track with the story.

Other than that, This was an incredible journey and I adore MC. He's definitely extremely flawed (getting into a relationship with a married man, neglecting his younger brother, etc.) and that's exactly what I love about him he's such a breath of fresh air and so hyper aware of it all without coming across as a Mary Sue because he actually takes time to process the information he gets.

The ML too was peak, I know he's a huge scumbag with an ego problem mixed with the temper of a neglected man in a violent environment but you just can see to the cracks especially at the later stage when he starts unravelling and god I adore that they took their damn time with it because feelings like he has do take time. Did I like him being physical for a lot of the times? Hell fucking no, Did it make sense with his character and wasn't a total hidden fetish cop out? Hell yes.

This is a solid series.