I ain't here bitch

pls pls pls rec me a pining/yearning top/male lead/love interest, it can be str8, bl, gl, idc as long as the lover of the mc pines for them. DESPERATELY.

I can't remember this manhwa: it's abt a girl going back to the past to make her lover happy. She's a redhead and she has like villainous family where everyone thinks she's a puppet of her family. Basically her first life goes with her marrying the ml and ml being the first person to be kind to her so she falls for him. Unfortunately, there were rumors of the ml's lover. Her first life ended with her family succeeding their villainous ways (take a shot everytime i say villain or villainous lol)

So on her next life, which is basically a rerun of her second, she cuts off her family (well she tries to ig?) and continuously helps the ml and enters a contract marriage with him. Ml eventually falls for her then mc kept saying she wants ml to be happy and ml thinks that he doesn't want to be happy because he feels like the moment he becomes/admits he's happy, the mc is going to leave.

Also (im remembering as i type lol) mc is the reason for going back in time bc when the ml died, she sought after the famous alchemist? Idk and wished for ml to be happy so time rewind. Now (at her second lift) she only has like a year or two to live

God you'd think id remember the name of it by now but no lol