michaela's Things

I'll be taking my licensure exam soon and after that I'll start to work, still I feel like I'm wearing someone else's skin. Peers who are the same age as me seem to have gotten their lives together whereas.... I'm still feeling stuck. I still have this kind of childish interests and hobbies, it feels kinda weird now but I still love doing it. It feels weird since it feels kind of shameful in comparison to others. I'm just looking someone who also feels the same way.

I feel myself becoming a terrible person, I'm always irritable and angry and frustrated. And I swear I wasn't like this. I keep pushing everyone away, and although I'm aware, I can't help but do it anyway. I can't focus on my studies, I have no appetite, I think I'm just waiting for death to come find me. I don't have any motivation at all.

I knowwwww it's a loser ahh question. These days I can't even read Our Sunny Days without being envious as fuck, or any romance manga at that. I'm not that ugly, I'm hygienic, but I feel so unlovable with everyone having a boyfriend these days. It's such a childish thing to whine about, but it feels a bit too lonely sometimes you know? You can't help but wonder if something's wrong with you. ╥﹏╥

And I mean YEARNING. Not just lustful glances, or shallow one night stands, I want it to be the kind of yearning that transcends the word love itself.

Here's one: Mo Dao Zu Shi, Heaven Official's Blessing, JayVik (Arcane)

#bringyearningback

Me, I'd drop mangas who has a character with an emo hair, long and one side covers an eye. Oddly specific, but I CANT STAND IT