Life Experiences

So these past few days i have done nothing but read mangas. Well, of course i do my school work but theres one thing ive been missing out. The GC for my grade has teachers. Everyday they call out a meeting so they can explain how will we do our activities. But i dont attend those meetings. So far i have attended 2 video calls from my supervisor. I stopped attending them after the second one. Why? My first time joining a video call, i was so nervous. All we did was listen to the teacher. But that one time our supervisor called out my name, i was very embarrassed that i did not hesitated to open my mic, all i did was chat. After all that chaos, the next day they announced a another meeting. Once i joined the call, i felt so left out. I felt like no one was there to welcome me. So now i stayed silent for one whole hour. After that day, i stopped attending meetings. Whenever they talk about the lecture, the more i feel guilty. Sometimes i have the urge to leave the GC but i cant, all of those notifications has haunting me for a while now. Quarantine has really put me under pressure now huh.