Not Sleep

question for the med students and health educated people

- Why is it when i actually go to bed at a decent time i struggle to get up in the mornings? yet when i go to bed later/more sleep deprived its easier for me to wake up and im actually more energized???

I've been dating this guy for awhile. And, well, he is alright. He is really sweet, and i think he does care about me. BUT my parents HATE him, they call him irresponsible, a bad influence, etc etc. and honestly they prob aren't wrong? He's a pothead (not that they know that), has underage drunk, and plans to join the army straigt out of HS (basically, his grades suck). Meanwhile I am a very education-focused person, care about my grades, and am WAY too much of a pussy to do anything that may affect my chances of getting into college.

And honestly, call me selfish, but i dont think i personally have the emotional compacity to date someone long distrance, constantly risking their life for 4 years.

Basically, we want different things from life, we never hang out outside of a seeing eachother a few seconds a day at school, and i think its time to move on.

But, im a pussy, and idk how to go about breaking up with him. He asked if i was avoiding him, and i said no, but honestly i was lying. its easier to avoid him then break up with him. And i know its selfish, which is why im asking for advice on how to ignore my nerves and do it anyways.

Also for cherry on top, my friend also wants to break up with HIS girlfriend (he doesnt know ab my relationship issues) so now im even more on edge about doing it bc i dont want it to seem suspicious. ARGGGG I HATE MEN