What The Heck Is Wrong With Me

I want to study in a college which is really far away from my home but once I stayed in a hostel where I almost lost my mind due to loneliness (mind u that there were no phones, no entertainment allowed there of any sorts) but now I think I can handle it because I realized that I really cant stay with my parents anymore.......but there planning on sending me to a college which like 10 minutes away from here and which is also not as good as the college I wanna go to!