Thinking About Death Everyday

tips for getting out of depressive episode? stopped going to school for 3 days, tbf i caught the flu, but everythings kinda getting overwhelming. watching the hw pile up js not sure how im gonna pick myself back up, it feels like i die a little more every time

i passed out for the first time last night on my kitchen floor, it feels surreal now thinking about it, but it was terrifying to experience. i remember trying to grab bandaids from the cabinet and then falling, knees thudding on the floor then everything went black. woke up on the floor after idk how long, disoriented af, and instinctively tried to find my mom for help. i have no clue how i made it to her bedroom. i remember being dizzy and my vision was dark so i kept holding onto the walls, maybe crawled there, trying to fumble for the door knob. my mom was shocked cuz i was in tears and looked sick, she helped me on the bed and i threw up all over myself, she had to grab scissors and cut off my shirt. i had barely eaten all day and i sh that night, js cat scratches, i feel kinda pathetic if i passed out just from that. i only remember bits and pieces. has anyone had similar experience fainting like this?