Being Gay

ugh this is embarrasing
so i still havent fully accept the fact that i like girls as much as i like guys, maybe its my homophobic parents or just shame cos im pretty sure i like my best friend. ANYWAYS this might be long so sit your ass down and read biTcH hehe.
so when turned 11 i got my first phone ( i promise this will make sense soon) and i used youtube a lot , and i mean A LOT. so one day this boy in my class was talking about lesbians and i asked him what that was. i knew that boys could like boys but i didnt think that girls could like girls. he didnt tell me what it meant so when i got home i typed in "lesbian" and learnt that some girls only liked girls and not guys. and soon after i watched a yt video, i think it was called "my first time with another woman". it was only an animation but still... i was too young to actually fEeL things but for some reason i couldnt keep my eyes away. this happened for a long time, watching videos of girls kiss but nothing else. then when i was 12 i started masturbating. i thought of girls and boys, and my lame excuse was always " well if boys touch themselves then why cant i". also when i was twelve i got into kpop and started thinking more about boys than girls, for a while i kinda forgot you could like girls as well as guys. and i didnt even know you could like both. then when i was one year ago i fell for my best friend, i didnt even realise until a couple of weeks ago. i always thought it was just because i wanted to get to know her more but i honestly think i like her fr. but shes so het omg. we both like bts and anime and she'll always send me nsfw edits and stuff like that. but anw, im so fucking confused, is there something wrong with me, do i actually like girls or am i just tripping