Question

uh hi i know not a lot of people will see this or just scroll past this but I just feel like i needed to vent and I cant go to my family but I've had a rough day and something my sister said really tipped it off, she's always been the biggest problem in my life even though she's younger she uses my mental illness and anxiety against me calling me worthless and she does it in front of my family but they just let her say these things whenever but today really set it off. i left school because of bullying and attempting to take my life and its especially hard to find a job now for multiple reasons and she constantly uses it against me she said that she's better than me because she has a GED and a job and I'm basically nothing and that ill never amount to nothing but id love to go into makeup but every time i try and get a compliment she's always butting in and trying to get the attention back on her. I don't know how much longer I can take any more but all i ask for is just a nice comment or a virtual hug.

I'm rn in this restaurant with my fam, then while we were ordering some ice cream since we were done eating, there was this cockroach beside our table, my sis was panicking since she hates insects and then my father realized it and told the waiter abt the cockroach to get rid of it but he straight up ignored him and asked for our order instead, like wthhh, my father started getting angry since he was ignored by most of the employees abt the cockroach prob so he started making a scene by saying he will viral this abt how unsanitary the restaurant is and took a pic of it.... Bruhhh there was people looking at my father shouting at them abt not doing anything and me and my sister's there being awkward and not knowing wht to do with all the fucking staring...rn we're still at the restaurant waiting for the ice cream and there are still ppl staring at us...agahshsh I wanna get outta here rnnn (　´)Д(｀ ) oh god there's so much text-

Ok, so twice, TWICE I had a dream about doing romantic and explicit activities with a tall, long haired, muscular and curvy lady...the first time was I think Indian, second definitely European, there weren’t too many similarities between them except the above description....the body types are also very different from my own (short, short hair, wide hips but skinny chest and waist). Is that somewhat influencing my love life and stuff cuz looking at all those straight comics and boys love, I just feel like guys are not hot to me and probably never were. I’m confused this ever happen to anyone else before??
Plus I’m lucky to have non-homophobic parents, but I’m NOT talking to them about this stuff so (づ￣ ³￣)づ