I'm a pervert and I'm scared to be hated

What do i do ? I'm just really lost . I live as a normal person . And everyone thinks I'm smart and an angel. Even my crush. But the truth is I'm a real pervert . Nobody knows that i steal condoms from my parents room to play with my ass . Nobody knows that i watch hyperventilation every night before going to bed as if it's twinkle twinkle little star . Nobody also knows that during bio class i watch my teacher's nipples being through-seen his shirt (they look cute though) . My crush confessed to me but I'm scared to date him cuz if he knows the real me he will hate me . I'm lost ╥﹏╥