Guys I'm Cancelling Myself

So it turns out that retaliating against the immense amout of homophobia that exists is now a crime. I am no longer allowed to make jokes about axe or skid marks. I cannot tell someone they're a straightie with a small dick if they're being creepy because that is anti-small dick straight man.
I realize just how wrong I am for making fun of that particular breed of straight men and straight fujoshis that fetishize gay men. I now know that I should stop being heterophobic and treat the oppressive group like equals, even if LGBT people are persecuted worldwide.
I will be turning myself into the local police station for my crimes against humanity. I will be sending a formal letter to the Catholic Church, and I will, of course, send my apologies to those who have called me f*ggot because I shouldn't have called them a str*ggot in retaliation, a word that was recently made up as a way to reclaim the slur compared to a word with a loaded history of violence </3