11 years of terror secrecy

I'm 20 at the moment, I haven't told anyone of what has happened to me because of fear, at them not believing me or thinking less of me. The sexual assault happend when I was 9 years old, at first I did not know what was happening I just felt discomfort on what they were doing to me, when they finish doing what ever they wanted to do they told me this line "don't tell anybody this is our secret". I didn't tell someone I kept quiet thinking that it was the best for me. I remember that night I was crying because I did not feel like myself, I hated my body... that's when I had my first suicidal thought, I remember how my little hands grab the knife and pointed at my stomach. I had tears running down my face, a headache growing, but then my family pop up in my eyes and I let go of the knife and decided to go to sleep. The next morning they came back and did the same, but this time worse. I thought that if I closed my eyes they would go away, sadly that did not happen and the days got worse. I had many suicidal thoughts throughtout does hunting events. But my brain erase most of those memories to handle the trauma. I'm going to tell you something that nobody knows and that is too shocking, they never stop the sexual assault until I turn 20 meaning they stop a couple of months ago.
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I'm afraid they are going to come and hunt me again.
Thanks for reading this...
At least someone is going to know now... right