Am I in love?
Hello!
My question may seem strange but until recently I was sure that I was asexual but now I don't really know anymore...
Well, let me explain, I'm 16 and I'm a girl. I've never fallen in love with men or women and even more, I've never felt the need to love or to be loved. I have some really good friends and I was really happy with just that and the thought that I would stay alone my whole life never really bothered me...
But last year, I started becoming more aware about a girl in my class. I don't think it was love, I just really wanted to become friend with her (and I succeed by the way, I'm her best friend now) but I didn't feel jealousy or the need to be always with her, just talking with her was enough for me. It seems that it was what's called a "squish".
So until recently, the fact that I was asexual and aromantic was for me clear, but now I started having other feelings for a second girl in my class, she's also my friend by the way. The moment when I started having doubts was when I saw her in dress for the first time, while normally she only wears pants, and I thought "Wow, she's so pretty", and I can't explain why but I knew certainly that I've never felt like that before. And after I wanted to become closer to her, to talk to her more, to stare to her more in class and I started being slightly jealous but I never showed it cause I know it would be so annoying for her... And I know for sure that I will never say to her that I don't really know the feelings I have for her. I know it's more than just a really good friendship but in the same time, dating her is clearly not my priority. If she loves me then I would be greatly okay and I would be really happy of course but if she loves someone else then I'm sure that I will help her to date this person, her hapiness is the priority. She's really the first one for who I feel like that, juste seing her or talking to her on fb makes me happy but it's not like if I don't talk to her I'm really sad, and I don't specially need or even want skinship... Even imagining a kiss feels weird, it's strange isn't it?
To sum up, I know it's more than friendship but don't dating her don't bother me. Can someone relate? Do you think it's love? According to you should I tell her what I feel? Honestly I don't know anymore, all answer is welcoming (づ￣ ³￣)づ
PS: I'm french and clearly english isn't my best subject so if I have made a mistake please tell me, it would help me to improve my level!
