Send h̶e̶l̶p̶ Meme's

Okay so I think that I deserve to be happy. I also think that I should apply myself more, yes. But don't tell me what I am and what I'm not, how I used to be and how I should be because I am already going through an identity crisis, so please, stop. My mental health is terrible, so please STOP. The amount of time's I have wanted to kill myself today is 10 to many times. The amount of times I have felt like I could just jump off of a building and die and finally be free is to many. I don't like the person I'm becoming and that scares me. I don't want to fail at life and I want to be better than my parents. They live well, yes, but I want to be better. I want to be remembered. I want to change the world. But then I look at other people and I feel inferior to them. Weather they be real, or fake. I'm jealous of the life that they have, and jealous of the people who they have in their life. I know that I may have done something bad in my past life and I don't know if I believe in that stuff or not. But when I do think about that I think it justifies how I feel and I think I deserve to feel this way. And my mom just said "999999999999 and a PENNY!" In the most annoying way, this made me want to kill her. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

treat this like a weird question, I don't know what to do, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, if you need some help, refer to the title, or the multiple 'A's', that I've added.