Religious trauma

And first I want to start off by saying I don’t think religion is inherently bad, I just have religious trauma because I was told I was going to be tortured in hell & that god is disappointed in me constantly at a young age (even more so after I came out).

I have really intense nightmares now about burning in hell and being tortured. Church makes me feel incredibly depressed and nauseous and even Christmas music is triggering. Does anyone else deal with this? I’ve tried talking to people about it before but they never seem to understand why it’s so scary.