my brain is entirely smooth pls give me insight on this

ok context: im a cisgender bi female, most of the other people that squared up was i think one female and another male. my friend online brought up how all yaoi is bad because they fetishize mlm. i said that not all yaoi does that is bad because some authors actually write their characters with an actual plot and grow them over the story. but they kept on insisting that all yaoi is bad. one of the people that squared up brought up that things without sex is boys love and thats ok but yaoi (with sex) is bad. i corrected them by saying that it called shounen ai, they said no and said to not change the subject. i insisted on the shounen ai thing (bad on my part) but even at the end of our convo they still said boys love. i also said that boys love is pretty much an umbrella term for both yaoi and shounen ai. the other guy agreed with me essentially, both told me to shut the fuck up. i brought up how a lot of yaoi with plot (not just sex wowww) is actually good and doesnt fetishize mlm. [what i didnt say, just wanted to clarify. i meant by plot as in the author actually takes time in developing the two characters relationship instead of scenarios like 'pissed off > sex' or 'love confession > sex'. and its actually a good story. ten shot is a good example. {TW/TRIGGER WARNING DONT CONTINUE ON IF YOURE SENSITIVE TO r@p3} they talked about how yaoi makes them uncomfortable and i understand. i mean when pretty much 3/4 of the genre is of men being raped and fanbase being young hetero female teens thinking that this is perfectly normal and ok plus seing it as hot is just a no.

note: some other people (male) talked about their opinion but i didnt read it because i was trying to cover my ass so theres that. also i dont want completely anti/pro yaoi comments in my feed i get it, im neutral i have hope for yaoi as a genre but rn its a hot mess.