got told not to read bl if its got sex

so i was talking to a bi person about bl and she was like as long as it doesnt have sex in it and youre not fetishizing gay men and i was obviously like no i dont read ones w sex which is a lie because i read yaoi lol its not my fault if a good bl happens to be yaoi but anyways besides the point lol um so i said that cos i dindt wanna piss her off but like ... im not fetishizing gay men when i read yaoi like, its not supposed to be realistic ygm ?? like some is realistic with the things gay men go through with oppression and homophobia but more times than not its not realistic. if we know its not realistic why is it a problem that we enjoy yaoi?? its not like we've now gone out and are like aww i want a gay bsf or like stereotypical stuff like that. however it has led to a shipping problem and now i ship every boy i see w someone LOL anyways if u read all this ur a real one <333