Since someone brought up school..

This is going to be long I'm sorry feel free not to read it or tell me your experiences too I need to feel not alone

Do any of you guys have a crush that has just stuck with you ever since like middle or high School or maybe even younger? That you never tried to go for?

Because I had a crush on this guy all through Middle School and honestly I still have left over feelings for the unknown or the what ifs but as I'm sitting here thinking about it I genuinely think he might have liked me back?? There are 5 big things that happened between me and him that makes me think maybe he did?

1. He always tried to sit with or near me in every class we had together even when we had classes with his other friends?

2. He would always talk with me about his mental health issues or who he liked (PAIN)

3. We were in our last class and I had my headphones and I was doing a little dance in my seat because you know the music was good and I glanced over and he's just watching me and his face turned red?? And he quickly looked away?? Btw I was sitting at my desk alone and no one else was there to look at?

4. We was heading to our last class and out of nowhere I just grabbed his hand and pulled him along.. but he held my hand back and I was the first one to let go?? HMM

5. HE said out of nowhere that he had a fear of rejection therefore even if he thought or knew that the person liked him he wouldn't say anything about it? LIKE WHAAAAT

Then again like I said I know I'm living in the past and for the what ifs but my brain is constantly tormented by the thought that if I had tried maybe something could have happened

Then again I don't think anything would have happened because I'm fat and that was middle school and if it did all of his "cool kid" friends would make fun of him .-. ACTUALLY THEY DID and after that he stopped trying to hang around me all the time .-. PAIN

BUT I ALSO FEEL LIKE IF HE DID LIKE ME his "friends" opinions wouldn't have mattered..? Idk anymore I should stop thinking about it but I can't

Sorry this was just me rambling about my thoughts I am curious about every one else's experiences tho! (๑•ㅂ•)و✧