Second-hand suicide

I think i have this thing called "second-hand suicide"
Its when you wanna die but your too scared to do it yourself so you let someone or something else do it for you, like letting nature take its course
I just want nature to take me so that way my parents or my friends don't have to feel like they could've changed something
I may have lost my will to live but i refuse to be the reason someone else loses theirs