Ahh! O.. Oh!... Aghh! AAAH! SANTA-KUN!!
(Sorry for the clickbait)
I know this isn’t the best place to ask this, but I’ve been planning to make a post about why yaoi is bad and I really need some opinions on it (preferably from gay men) here it is:
Disclaimer: I have nothing wrong with men watching lesbian porn or women watching gay porn, as long as they can realize porn doesn’t equal real life or people and keep it private
There are 3 main problems with yaoi; it’s stereotypical and heteronormative, it romanticizes a lot of bad things, and it’s catered toward women, not gay men. The fact that it’s just porn is not the problem, again, I don’t care about your porn preference.
The stereotypes and heteronormativity
One of the biggest stereotypes I’ve seen in yaoi is the top being masculine and rough and the bottom being feminine and gentle. This usually leads to heteronormativity, which is also rooted in misogyny, where they make a gay relationship seem like a straight relationship, by making one more “womanly” and the other more “manly” by giving them traditional roles of a man and a woman.
The whole point of a gay relationship is that they’re the same gender, so there is no “woman” in an MLM relationship and there is no “man” in a WLW relationship. While there are tons of gay relationships where one is more feminine and the other is masculine, not all of them, if not most, are like that. It also enforces the stereotype that gay men are predatory and “sex fiends” due to the fact that most of the stories are just sex.
The romanticization of rape and pedophilia (TW)
Most relationships in yaoi stem from the top raping the bottom. Not only is this unrealistic because no victim would date their rapist, let alone interact with them, it also makes it seem like rape is okay and it’s something the victim can just “get over.” Pedophilia isn’t as common, but it’s still there, and both of these further perpetuate the "gay men are predators" stereotype.
The target audience
Yaoi is a whole genre about gay men, but it’s catered towards women. If a story or show is about a minority, then that minority should at least be the target audience, if that’s not the case, it’s exploitation. It’s similar to how lesbian porn is catered towards men and not women.
Some other issues:
1. Bi, pan, and etc. erasure
3. Giving characteristics to top and bottom
4. Sexualization of minors
5. Some fans straight up fetishize gay men
6. Reduces gay relationships to sex
7. Makes it seem like you can “turn” someone gay
8. Gay men have said that it’s fetishization
