my mlm/yaoi experience

so. one day, my past self found out about yaoi. and, just like any fujoshi/fundashi, i started to sexualize mlm relationships. but then, i grew tired of the actual sex scenes and grew annoyed w them. now, here i am, realizing that i am transmasc nblm/mlm. might be gay or bi, idk

or, i read lots of yaoi and realized in 2020 that i just want to become the gay