Goodness gracious, i love cats but... pt2

12 reasons why cats are just plain evil

( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)Cats don't understand 'no'
Let's be real here. Cats have an attitude problem. You might think you're investing all that time and energy into building a beautiful relationship with your pet. You aren't. Your cat has absolutely no interest in you as a person. They aren't loyal to you. This is because cats are naturally unresponsive to punishment; they only respond to praise and rewards.

( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)Cats are arrogant
They definitely have a bad attitude, but even worse, they think they're better than you. They prance around like they own the place, peeing everywhere and expecting you to clean it up for them. They know you will wait on them hand and foot and provide them with a constant supply of food.

( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)Cats are manipulative
You probably know that cats purr. An interesting fact that you might not know is that cats also have a “cry” which they use to manipulate humans. This cry is strikingly similar to the cry of a baby or a small child, and humans are programmed to respond to this and try to help.

( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)Cats won’t make eye contact with you
If they accidentally do lock eyes with you, they will blink and narrow their eyes in an evil-villian-caught-in-the-midst-of-a-dastardly-plan-type way. If that’s not sketchy, I don’t know what is. (they just think ur stupid luv)

( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)Cats think you are completely incapable
That’s right, cats think you are stupid. They hunt and bring you dead animals (we’ll get to their sadistic, murderous instincts in a moment), because they think you are too stupid to catch a bird or a mouse on your own.

( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)Cats are murdering monsters
They like to kill other animals. For fun. Considering cat lovers are so vocal about their love for all things cute and fluffy, it seems strange that people are happy to ignore the fact that cats are tyrants who pick on mice, birds and other creatures. Not only do they kill them (to arrogantly show you that they’re better than you), they usually play with their prey, torturing the poor animals before a slow and painful death.

( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)Cats think they own you
At this point some of you may be declaring that cats love to cuddle you, and love to have their bellies rubbed, and that they brush up against you because they are just oh-so affectionate. Wrong. Cats, like a lot of animals, release scents, and these scents send signals to other cats and other animals. Essentially, when a cat is rubbing up against you or lying in your lap, it doesn't want affection, it is marking you as its property. Yup, you just got owned.

( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)Cats make you clean up their crap
How many cat poops have you seen in the wild? Exactly. That's because in the wild, cats dig holes to bury their business. This is because they don't want to challenge the dominant cat on his own turf, so it's a way of admitting who's boss. Any cat that leaves its poop out is saying, "I'm the alpha here, I don't think anyone here can challenge me."

( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)Cats idolise snakes
Between all that purring and meowing, people conveniently forget that cats also hiss. Just like the stick insect pretends to be a stick to disguise itself from predators, cats also use this technique, called mimicry, to try and put off predators. Most animals, big or small, are scared of snakes, which is why cats send their ears back, hiss and spit, in an attempt to mimic a venomous snake. NBD, just worth noting that cats aspire to be an animal THAT CAN KILL YOU.

( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)Cats think humans absolutely stink
Oh you thought cats were very clean and sanitary, considering it looks like they are always grooming themselves? Not quite. When they lick their paws, and their fur, and everywhere else for that matter, they aren't trying to give themselves a bath, they just want rid of the disgusting stench of human. Truth hurts.



( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)But jokes on them, i am a lowly incompetent and loyal slave of them no matter what.