I’m miserable.

For the first time in my life, I think I’ve finally had the kind of attraction to someone that you read in books. It was instantaneous. I saw him and I just thought he was so “cute.” And then, as the day progressed, my attraction grew and grew. half way during our time together, I grew sad at the thought that this was just one sided and that I would never see him again. I know I need to put my grown woman panties on and move on, but I’ve never been this attracted to someone I’ve met just once before. Like, I’ve had one intense ‘crush’ in my life, but this feels different. This feels less juvenile, and I’m mortified of thinking or seeing it that way. This attraction was whole and complete. I wanted to be with him and BE with him—if you catch my drift...which you do now.

Idk. I don’t want to not do anything. I feel like I’ll regret it. But I feel so small and inferior. I feel like crying. I’m miserable.