i dont know how to get over these feelings.

i keep having the same awful dream. in this dream bc of my situation someone ends up dying, murdered. and its my fault. i had no choice but to kill them even though they were innocent and did nothing wrong. but if i hadn't i didnt know what would happen to me. i have to live with there remains hidden away in a bag to remind me everyday what i had done, constantly in fear and immense guilt if i should turn myself in bc there death was all my fault, i murdered them. constantly remembering me covered in blood knowing i had taken some ones life. the pressure is so heavy, "im a murderer, i killed someone, but what happens in i turn myself in, what happens to the person who made me kill them? i love that person i cant do that to them. what would they do to ME." and the guilt slowly builds up. every time i wake up and slowly peek my eyes open to see the light coming from the curtain i cry. im hit with relief, im scared and i feel guilty. i know its fake but in my mind i still killed someone. its a feeling i can never describe. being so torn and absolutely fucking fearing for my life everyday. the guilt eating me alive knowing i killed someone so selfishly, and that i was still hiding there remains, and if i told and gave myself up, the fear of not knowing what was going to happen to me. what was going to happen to the person who forced me to kill them. even tho its just a dream it feels so real every time i want to vomit. seeing blood everywhere the panic, the fear, the guilt, it really is something i cant explain. its the worst feeling i have ever had in my life and it eats me alive even though i know its fake.

i dont know do get over it, even after waking up i still feel so guilty that i killed someone. i can barely tell what was the dream and what was the reality. i found myself wanting to give myself up the second i woke up just to realize ill seem crazy if i do, and that it was all just a dream and i never really did anything. idk what to do maybe i am crazy- i never had a dream that felt so horribly real. also the loved one is my mother. i have a very complicated relationship with her which makes everything 10x harder...
maybe i need therapy-