Ever since there was quarantine because of covid, we had to always wear a face mask. At first i wasnt really much insecure about my looks and thought that it didnt matter but as time passes by which made me have a lot of acnes. People started to point it out and yet even my family most of the time and called me ugly. My classmate also made a joke as we were playing that if I won then I could finally buy skincare products and then everybody just laughed even the teacher which made me even more self conscious about my face and wanted to buy products but I couldnt cause I didnt have money. And so ever since then I always covered my face w a mask and yet not eat with my allowance just so I could buy some things that could help myself look better. I also got a haircut and by that I heard people havin a crush on me. I thought it would make me feel good about myself but it just made me feel worse cause I was still wearing a face mask by then and thought I was just deceiving them. And so on the next year I didnt wanna remove my mask but I made friends along the way and gained confidence about myself and I could also eat sometimes without worrying about my face but I also made myself stand out through events cause I always overdressed myself but of course it js made me even more insecure and throughout those events I didnt even once put away my mask. A boy had a crush on me and ofc knows my face and I accepted his confession but ever since his confession I never ate or yet even put away my mask even though he said my acnes didnt matter and that I still look pretty but he was known for wanting a girlfriend and also had a crush on my friends back then so I cant help make myself believe that he wouldnt get tired of me. So now this next school year I plan to transfer just so I could gain confidence about myself without wearing a mask on but how could I tell my friends and my bf that i transferred on my own and not by forced js bc of my insecurity. I feel guilty about it and worse cause it feels like im betraying them bc of it but I couldnt go there cause everyone else knows me and I was partly a loser unlike my friends.︶︿︶
