So I accidentally fucked a couch on public display

Me and my mirco penis bestfriend was playing around near the couch display at the furniture store and they like legit threw me... sent me flying so hard that my pants flew off but before I could land they violently made their stomach jiggle which sent arousing vibrations causing my missladyman to instantly go rock hard before landing and scoring a goal between the couch cushions, and now the furniture store are trying to sue me.. so should I beat his ass or should I "beat" that ass?
（￣へ￣）