Braided happy trail battle

I have nothing against old people but as of today I might have a different answer.

I was just walking on the sidewalk and there was this old man walking by, there was literally 2feet of space but this urn bumped into me nd had the nerve to say "EXCUSE YOU" I only said "on skibidi toilet?" nd the next thing I know I was sent flying by this dust to dust old man with just a slap, I could feel his lifelong aura and knew I stood no chance against this medieval creature, I would lose if I depended solely on strength in this fight- knowing I had no other choice I grabbed my 17ft long braided happy trail before wrapping a few inches around my hand "well..well ..well it seems the ties have turned Gramps" maybe this would've turned out differently in another era but today was his unlucky day, and he knew it.

We fought to the death, leaving only me and my braided happy trail the last survivor in this fight. It was my victory.