It must get worse before it gets better

Tell me why all of a sudden, my mental health is spiraling out of control and I'm scared of everything. I hate myself all the time but I'm really trying to not, but I don't know how to. I guess this what I get for ignoring all my problems in high school. I can't believe I was "healthier" when I was rotting on Mangago as opposed to interacting with the real world.