How to not feel absolutely worst?

Life isn't good and it's definitely not gonna get better anytime soon. I don't really have someone to talk to or feel like home. I feel like absolute shit and at the lowest point of life. So i just need reccomendation on how to not wanna end myself lollllllll. SH would probably help but I'm a coward loll so yea that shits not for me. I just wanna cry so bad lol, shit sucks, everything sucks and the blame pretty much is on me so i can't really even cry lol, life wasn't meant for someone like me, i wish i just wasn't born but well i am so now i gotta get through somehow.