i need help bro
my little sister's in 11th grade now, she chose a really difficult subject combination and she has lots to study. today she's told me she has a boyfriend, and i was livid but i didn't say anything too much rn. she's already dated, and assured me countless times she won't do it till college, because each time her studies took a massive hit. before it wasn't that serious, but now in 2 years she'll be giving college entrance exams and if she continues just not listening to reason idk what will happen man. I'm so scared for her future but I can't tell parents because obviously i won't, and i cannot convince her to focus on her studies. i genuinely feel so worried rn, she's an ambitious and smart person sure but I've seen peers in 11th grade be destroyed by all this dating bs, heck I never even dated, just a situationship fucked me up so bad my chemistry grades literally never improved until 2 months ago, i had to take a drop year because of a fucking situationship.
literally how do i make her focus on her studies, I don't want her future to be ruined like the countless kids i saw at my coaching centre. should i go and ruin a sibling code thing by telling my parents, for her own good? that's literally the only idea i have on how to help her here, it looks like there's no other way to convince her to leave this bs behind her idk
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I think the best way to approach this situation is that you just need to be honest with her.
Have an honest, calm discussion with her, sit down and speak your mind about your worries for her and her future if you truly believe that her having a boyfriend at such crucial time of her life can effect her studies negatively.
I would also say that depends on what type of person her boyfriend is too, because I like to believe that some people can lift you up and others can take you down with them.. maybe you can first ask her about what is her boyfriend is like so you could get a better idea about who is she dating.
Nothing can be done with yelling and snitching that would make the matter worse.
Hopefully, I helped in some way and have a great day.
Nahh don't tell parents you'll lose your sister's trust.
don't tell your parents. let her be for now. if things actually get bad then, (this honestly sounds bad) just blackmail her that you'll tell your parents but don't actually.
i would like to say something like let her be but judging that she's in 11th and that you seem to be from a country with a similar environment to mine, these 2 years will greatly impact her life so you need to guide her. but yea try not to be too overbearing
actually yea maybe just talk to her first like others said. idk why i just went straight to blackmail rlly says alot about what kind of sibling i was
trying not to be overbearing really, but I'm already in a bad enough situation that my parents will probably have to pay way too much to get me a college degree. if my sister does the same, we won't be able to afford her further education, she needs to get into a government college. and she's taken science and maths, plus she wants to do law too. i just took science and i barely passed, she's not worked as hard as I have yet, she's probably gonna be worse than me as it is. we literally cannot afford her doing this but idk how to convince her that
part of it is because she goes to a rich people school (we can barely afford it) and i guess she's influenced a lot by these rich kids, she just doesn't understand that we cannot live like them. the boyfriend lives in one of the most affluent parts of the country, he can afford to have a relationship, she can't but she won't understand
Don't get me wrong - you sound like a good sibling making her focus on her studies, looking out for her etc. But rn it sounds like it's another lesson she's gonna have to learn.
At her age, she probs thinks she knows best and whats she's doing, and the more you nag and lecture, the less she may want to tell you and listen. I'd say take a step back and maybe just once or two times a week be like hey wanna go to a cafe and study together? For encouragement
Idk tho bro you do you