decided to confront my best friend
- out of genuine concern. i don’t really want to specify what “it” is, but i have seen them this weekend and they are going through things, i went through too (still dealing with ‘em). (and i found abt it just this weekend.) needless to say, they are in absolute denial about it. let’s say it’s a fucking unhealthy coping mechanism. it fucking breaks me. i can’t. i’m really fucking scared for them. i'm scared, that this is where our friendship ends, but i just physically can’t sit back and not say anything. i've sent them a message like an hour ago, now the wait for any kind of answer (betrayal, anger, sadness) is killing me. how tf could i go on without saying anything? i’m so sad and depressed about it guys. i feel like shit.
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Pls spill the entire story I don’t understand what u talking about
They haven't said what exactly is what they are both struggling (for what ever reason), but that isn't the biggest issue they came for advice/help with, it is their feeling of helplessness with a friend who is struggling with something they have also gone through. But their friend is unwilling to open up and allow for people who care about them help them, or just be helped overall. I don't know the details and it's not like I need to know, but I do share sympathy and empathy for these friends. And I hope things work out
you worded this perfectly, thank you so much. it’s kinda a sensitive subject for me, but as i said, it can be considered a super unhealthy coping mechanism (or sh even, depends how you look at it). thing is, i have ended up in hospital because of it, and it will probably be a part of me for a long long time. (even though i have been told many times before that it doesn’t change who i am, i’m me, not this mechanism)
anyways, thank you both, bboong sorry for not being more specific, but thank you for reading and interacting with this. <3
Not a problem :) and don't worry about explaining anything to anyone, they are not entitled to know. And for you, if you don't feel comfortable telling people something (because we are basically strangers), you don't have to. I do have awareness, and I have read your paragraph clearly and understood that this is a sensitive topic so I won't push for more. You, do not apologize for not being able to be more specific, or go into detail about a personal matter. What you expressed is enough for people to have an idea of what is going on. So I do wish you luck with your situation both of your friend and what you are repressing. I hope you (continue to) get better. You are not alone, and there are people there for you. You've got this!!<33
Ah sorry I have comprehension issues I just wanted to figure out what you were trying to say
Sorry about that, I might have come off as rude. But it had sounded like you weren't taking it as a serious topic. Hopefully my explanation was a little more helpful to understand the situation. Still, sorry that I made you feel less or if I made you feel bad. I felt that it is a serious conversation and because your reply seemed unserious, I miss judged you. So sorry :(
It is a real deal though. You know, I think this is what great friendships are about: taking risks. You are doing what you know is best for your friend, but there might not be much you can do if they are not allowing themselves to be helped. For a long time I did not allow myself to be vulnerable with my friends, I did not allowed myself to open up. But it gets to a point, and because I could not open up I lost one of my very best friends. I won't tell you to stop trying, in fact, continue trying. Do what you can, comfort them, reassure them that you are here, relate to them. Try, if you havent already, to approach then by themselves and talk to them one to one in person about it. Tell them how this is making you feel, how it's eating you from inside to see their friend in pain. Show them you deepest concerns for them, and if they are still not willing to open up then let them know you are still there for them. How they are not a burden and you care for them. But if things don't work out, don't blame yourself for this. Be kind to yourself, people who don't want to be helped can't be helped, unless they allow themselves to be. From an outsiders perspective, you are doing what I would have loved someone would do for me. You are doing great. I'm sorry that you have to go through this, you and your friend. I hope you do get better, good luck, I wish you the best. Thank you for letting others hear your words, you are heard.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, seriously. i’ve actually read this yesterday, but i didn’t want to be on my phone much out of all the anxiety. but i’ve been thinking about what you’ve written and it really helped me.
they haven’t replied yet, i don’t think they will any time soon, but i really truly hope that this will end soon. it feels like a nightmare losing someone over something terrible like this.
thank you sm once again. truly appreciated this. i needed to hear that.
I am glad I was of help ^^. Yeah, I am sure you must be going through a lot, so don't worry about replying. If you are anxious, take time off from what is causing your anxiety. I am sure waiting for their reply is stressing. But as hard as it sounds, try not to think about it all the time, it really is hurting you too. I understand that this friend is going through a lot and since you relate to them it makes it more worrisome, but don't forget to look after yourself too. Maybe you can continue to send them messages, they could be reading them and just not replying, or maybe they forgot to answer. Who knows, but it might help every so often to reassure them, and telling them there is someone for them. If that helps calm your anxiety you should do that, but if it will only make it worse then I would say to just continue waiting. I'm sure you're a great friend, they are lucky to have you ;) Look out for yourself too!!! You are loved lots!! And if you ever need someone to talk to, I will be here <33
i also feel like a hypocrite, because as i said, i know what’s going on and have my fair share of an experience. but they just keep saying that they are okay and it’s not bad at all. i know my truth. the difference is - i’m honest about it. they are not. maybe they know damn well, but don’t want to say it out loud and make it a real deal.
ps. the worst about this is, and i forgot to mention that, that they literally went through that before. so this is making it a relapse. even though they are denying it.
and yes, we live long distance. so this is a firstly time i have seen them in months. i didn’t expect it at all. at least not this bad.
*first, fucking autocorrect
So sorry about that, I do really wish you luck :(
thank you so much, it means a lot, really
Not a problem, here to help