Pride month

Y'all ik I'm late (like super late) but happy pride month this year's June has been the hardest for me to accept myself. I even reconsider I might not bi. All bcs I was force to come out against my will. I was out by another queer person. Like fuck I thought you understand my pain, OUR PAIN so how could you? Tf? Saying shit to my best friend that I like her. Just bcs I'm attracted to women doesn't mean I want to fuck every women in the world. I'm not you bitch. Ik my best friend would accept me as I am but I was outed. It was supposed to be a happy occasion where I'll tell her personally. Not by someone else. Rn me and that bitch are no longer friends but my best friend is still friend with that bitch. Wait I don't want to focus on that bitch, anger distracted me.

Anyway, I feel uncomfortable sharing that fact with my best friend. She condemned that bitch for being with a woman. Saying it's a sin and god condemned it. YES I KNOW I ALSO BATTLING THIS MYSELF. IDK. she said "as long as you don't behave like one. You can be gay but never acted like it." She's enby btw. She/her pronounce. She's just like me, we enjoy the same thing, similar interests. I watched what she watches, I read what she read. Funny coincidence that's why she's my best friend. But in this regard, I'm so conflicted. She told me she's uncomfortable with that bitch but still friend with her. So, what about me? I'm her closest friend. Does she feels uncomfortable? Does she feel disgusted with me? I never talked about relationships with her. I want to but I just can't. I want to talk about my past/future but I'm scared she'd silently judging me. It's scared me. I love personal space but when she comes closer but in my head. Pls go away. I'm having internalized homophobia on myself wtf I never have this problem. I don't want to come out, never but since this shit happened. I've been struggling. Dunno what to do except waiting for the worse.

I'm grateful I didn't get exposed yet. My closet is made out glasses I'm transparent asf. Hiding isn't that hard, I'm not even hiding bru. As long as I didn't say anything. That's it. Getting back to, "I even reconsider I might not bi" just to please her. Girl the more I think about it, the more I think women are gorgeous I didn't choose to be like this, it wasn't an option bro. If I could, I'd choose not to be born instead. Living is hard. I can get on life pretty well but shit like this makes me... down. I'm still struggling with this sexuality matter but... How do I say this, it's pride month I should be happy. I should celebrating. Instead I'm sad and angry with myself. For treating myself like this. I don't have to let myself down. I'm not questioning myself, it'd be a lie if I didn't know the answer. Ik damn well but I choose to be ignorant. Alr thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Wishing y'all a better life. Sending love. Peace. Lastly, happy pride month goodnight y'all

here's something to think about