You know it can be both, right?

I know multiple people have already talked about this, but I'm still seeing people argue about it. And I feel like I need to say my piece. I'm tired of people thinking it's either this or another

Yes, thanks to BL, we are getting queer representation. Yes, a lot of women are decent enough to not fetishize gay men in real life. But can we not act as if a lot of women who read BL don't fetishize queer men in real life, and it's just a 2D men thing? If it's just a 2D thing, you wouldn't find women paying handsome men to make out, while in the comment, you see "kyaaa, it's like BL, so hot" or a reenactment of omegaverse where a guy is giving birth with its fucking details. I'm tired of comments like "Ew, who cares about real gay men anyway?" Well, you see, if those gay men were handsome enough, they would get fetishized. I have seen women here say they don't believe gay men are actually gay; "it's natural to love women," they clearly think they can turn them straight. Something straight men do all the time to lesbian women. I have seen men complaining about women messaging men, asking who is the "uke" and who is the "seme." I have seen literal authors acknowledging they were stalking minors to imagine stuff between them. I'm tired of people saying, "No one cares about real gay men." You are talking about YOURSELF. Like, I understand why women need to defend themselves when people go after them, but dismissing their experience with queer men being delusional—that's not it.

However, I'm not going to act like a lot of gay men here just don't hate women; I got called a gay fetishizer over nothing. While I understand being uncomfortable around fujoshis because some of them were creepy toward you. But jumping into every woman's throat without evidence and calling them gay fetishizers because they just read BL is a bit much.