sdidw i cook?

so i drank coffee earlier because i thought it would help me survive the day but now its almost like the coffee is fighting with the fever medicine and my brain is just stuck in this buzzing loop i havent slept properly my ear infection is killing me and instead of resting im overthinking like usual and i keep spiraling into these strange thoughts that wont shut up like what if we are not even real like not in the way we believe we are what if we are literally just characters in a story someone else is reading like some higher being out there is holding the book of my life and flipping through it like its nothing maybe my whole childhood was just chapter one and my current mess is just filler content before the climax theyre waiting for and when i die its just them closing the book and maybe never opening it again and it gets worse when i think about isekai because maybe thats the only time a character realizes theyre fictional when they get pulled into another story what if we are already the background of someone elses isekai like maybe right now my entire life is just a side note in the middle of a bigger adventure and when they click off my perspective i just freeze like a paused game character and dreams oh my god dreams are so sus because what if theyre not ours what if theyre just leaks from other stories like the reader accidentally flipped to another world and my brain just borrowed their plot for the night so when i dream of flying or drowning or being chased its not even me its some poor soul out there actually going through it and im just the crossover guest star and death maybe its not even death maybe its literally just the reader finishing the book and closing it maybe the shelf is infinite maybe we get reread maybe we get forgotten maybe some of us are cult classics and others are just dusty books no one touches and deja vu maybe thats the glitch when they go back a page to reread and i feel like ive lived it before because technically i have and all this overthinking bleeds into everything even when me and my boyfriend do nasty stuff i start freaking out like what if someone is watching us not in the creepy neighbor way but like actually watching us from outside reality like what if someone from the tv is looking through the screen back at me what if every time i moan its getting recorded somewhere and being uploaded to the dark web like what if im trending in some hidden corner of the universe for being too horny and weird like imagine my face on some forum with people laughing and making memes and they know exactly what im thinking in real time and now my fever brain wont stop asking the worst question of all what if the reason i keep overthinking is because the reader thinks its entertaining and they keep turning the page just to watch me spiral into madness and honestly the scariest part is maybe im not sick maybe im just lagging because the wifi in the higher realm is trash