I hate my boss

She posted on her job posting and I am copying this here:

"Job Responsibilities
Design, develop and maintain the Shopify website according to supervisor's guidance
Create custom functionality to improve the user experience
Integrate with other APIs to enable additional functionality
Collaborate with cross-functional teams to identify business requirements and deliver solutions
Troubleshoot and debug issues
Stay up-to-date with the latest Shopify development trends and best practices
Optimize the process by involve with the business process
Analyze data and discover insights
Research industry trend"

EXACTLY WHERE ON THIS LIST OF REQUIRED TASKS DOES IT SAY THAT I NEED TO DO EIGHT HOURS OF LABOUR?

EXACTLY WHERE DOES IT SAY I NEED TO CLEAN BAGS, STICK LABELS, AND PACK FOOD?

I don't mind labour. BUT ONLY IF I SIGNED UP FOR IT.

YOUR COMPANY NAME IS THE SAME AS A MASSIVE CAT FOOD MANUFACTURER AND YOU WANT ME TO IMPROVE YOUR SEO, GO SUCK A DICK. WHY DIDN'T YOU THINK OF A BETTER NAME FOR YOUR TINY COMPANY OF 150 MAX CUSTOMERS??? THE ONLY SHIT I CAN DO NOW IS MAKE IT SO THAT THE PEOPLE CLOSE TO YOUR LOCATION CAN GET TO YOUR WEBSITE.

BUT IT'S WORTHLESS CAUSE YOUR COMPANY IS LOCATED IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.

For the holy SEO, this woman thinks making her website look cluttered is a good option, though, funny enough, when it comes to like, descriptions on her website she just... Nothing. It's... so functional. Like, it's functional in a bad way. You're supposed to bullshit, but she's just... not doing it.

Anyway, I have been here for a week and I can't leave because... think of it as an internship but I need to do six of them and this is the second, and the school policy is "if you quit your job, you forfeit one internship and you need to complete at least five".

No way in hell am I forfeiting a job in this job market.

SO THIS DUMBASS THINKS IT'S OK TO LIE ON YOUR JOB POSTING???

I DON'T HAVE A CONTRACT.

I DIDN'T KNOW MY WORK HOURS UNTIL A WEEK INTO THE JOB BECAUSE THIS WOMAN THINKS SHE CAN TURN 2 DAYS ONSITE A WEEK INTO FIVE. AND BTW, I HAD TO CONTACT MY UNIVERSITY TO CONFIRM WITH HER BECAUSE SHE KEPT ON PUSHING IT AND SAYING "oh these are the hours for NOW".

IF I KNEW ALL THIS, I WOULD HAVE REJECTED YOUR ASS.

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I SPENT EIGHT HOURS DOING TODAY?

I was cleaning bags because they have labels on them, right?

You need to like clean the sticky stuff by heating it up so that it becomes gooey or something, and I was doing PERFECTLY FINE. And then she tells me I have to do it in her way that makes it like 10x harder to take the labels off. We only have like one heater and she thinks it's a good idea to get the other intern help.

Chat.

If you have ONE of a resource that is a MUST, do NOT make MORE THAN ONE person do it because they have to interact as humans and waste time, whereas one person can get used to it and get faster. You aren't reliant on both people working as a system that way. TWO DOES NOT MEAN FASTER. IT DEPENDS.

JUST SAYING.

Why am I even saying this.

Bro this woman is like, "common sense" to me, you need an 18 year old to do process design on a company that has like 6 employees and you're the co-owner, do you not like literally have a degree in this? Why are you asking me to do this.

LIKE WHEN YOU MADE THE COMPANY DID YOU NOT LIKE... THINK?

There is a difference between improving and literally not knowing how to use excel.

The best thing is that she is like, "we want to be more efficient".

The reason why your entire thing is inefficient is because you have like 20 customers that came off of WECHAT who should be using SHOPIFY to place orders.

Those twenty people, I kid you not, are the source of like 90% of all our problems because they need to be added in manual and this chick thought it was a good idea to have an order, a printing, a delivery, and a menu google sheet. But we're now so deep in this ukehole that to remove ourselves from it would require her to lose money.

Which means we have to update across all four of those. Like, twenty times.

And they can update whenever the hell they want.

The day before yesterday was the deadline for next week's orders and she added an emergency order TODAY. AS IN TODAY.

I HAD TO PRINT AN ENTIRE LABEL FOR THIS MAN.

AND HE'S NOT EVEN ORDERING THAT MUCH, IT'S LIKE $90 WORTH OF FOOD.

THE CUSTOMER THAT ORDERS THE MOST ORDERED LIKE $400 WORTH OF FOOD EVERY WEEK. TWICE.

TELL THAT JACKASS TO FUCK OFF AND STARVE INSTEAD OF MAKING US SPEND THE NEXT TEN MINUTES UPDATING THE ENTIRE BULLSHIT SYSTEM YOU MADE THAT MAKES ZERO SENSE.

WHY DOES THE KITCHEN AND THE DELIVERY SERVICE NEED TWO DIFFERENT GOOGLE SHEETS IF THEY ARE LITERALLY THE SAME SHEET WITH 0, I SAYING, 0 DIFFERENCE.

FINE SHOPIFY PRINTS OUT THE ORDERS IN A WEIRD WAY, YOU CAN FIX IT ONCE INSTEAD OF FIXING IT TWICE.

WHY.

ONE. HUNDRED. FIFTY. CUSTOMERS. AND YOU'RE MAKING IT FEEL LIKE TWO THOUSANDS BECAUSE OF TWENTY PEOPLE.

She's like, "oh they're old customers."

I DON'T CARE.

TELL THEM TO ORDER LIKE EVERYONE ELSE INSTEAD OF GETTING THE PRINCESS TREATMENT. YOU SLOW EVERYONE DOWN BY MAKING THESE SUDDEN CHANGES.

I CAN'T MAKE CHANGES TO MY MCDONALDS ORDERS AFTER THEY'RE DONE MAKING IT, WHY SHOULD THEY?

"make things more efficient"

The only thing that's inefficient in this company is this woman.

Like, she has a habit of asking a question, and it's so obnoxious.

It's like, and I am quoting her.

"Do you know what this is?" *points to google sheet*

"Yes!"

"Are you sure? If you don't know it, you should go back and learn. I don't think you know it. You don't seem like you know it."

"Ok!" *｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡*

This is fine, if it's like once a day.

This is like, every time I do anything.

She also tests you on random knowledge of her company, and when you say the right answer, she doesn't understand, so she says you don't understand, and then proceeds to say what you literally just said.

It's.

Interesting.

She also really likes... putting her hands on my shoulders because I'm shorter than her and have to look up if she does that.

Why does everyone annoying in this world like to TOUCH ME.

KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF ME.

I'M NOT THAT SHORT.

The only thing she does all day is talk to those 20 wechat customers because they suddenly are allergic to the taste of their own ass every Tuesday.

She also does not give a fuck about allergies. It's actually kind of funny. She'll delete your allergies if she thinks they aren't important.

Some chick is allergic to mangoes and cherries and she just went, "we don't sell mangoes and cherries, reprint the label without it."

WHY.

JUST KEEP IT THERE.

IT'S HARMLESS.

Also, there are like 2 outlets, zero chairs, a bunch of stools that I... I might have to sort of climb to get on, ONE TABLE that is NO WHERE CLOSE TO THOSE TWO OUTLETS, and like... no staplers, paperclips, or anything.

There wasn't even a mouse for the company laptop.

Bro was like, today, "Do you like your laptop?"

??? I don't... care.

She is like, "you need to improve your critical thinking skills"

I've been here for like a week (and some more).

It's not CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS, it's IDK WTF YOUR BIZARRE SYSTEM IS BECAUSE YOUR SOP IS A LOAD OF SLOP THAT YOUR EX-INTERN WROTE USING CHAT GPT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.

When I wrote the... SOP thing for my previous workplace, I HAD SCREENSHOTS AND PICTURES. AND I EXPLAINED WHY EVERY STEP WAS DONE IN WHAT WAY.

THIS CHICK HAS NOTHING.

Except videos, that explain hyperspecific tasks in a very nonspecific way.

I'm 90% sure the previous interns have been trolling this woman because for some reason this HUMAN FOOD COMPANY had spent and entire two interns worth of time (8 months) on... producing cat food.

I'm... not... kidding.

And then they dropped it for some reason?

It's... interesting.

If I was her, honestly, I'd just permahire another two people, one for labour, one for all the google sheet stuff she illegally outsources from China to avoid tax issues by issuing private transactions. And I know they're private transactions

Though, that's "not going to last for very long".

I actually did this week's google sheet because... idk I forgot why, but it wasn't supposed to be me doing it because she's paying her chinese friends lower than minimum wage to do it.

Also, does this woman not think time is money. She has to waste like a week waiting for every intern to get used to stuff.

She's also lying to the government by calling this a technology internship when it's actually labour and like, idk what it's called but business management?

I know because my previous boss did it and he asked me to fill in a bunch of forms saying he's the greatest boss of all time or something.

Also, her dream of making it to 300 customers is impossible because her remaining kitchen employees + other owner can't make that much food in time. But I'm not telling her that cause it's funny to watch her flail for it.

The only thing they didn't lie about was free lunch, but their food is shit anyway. Genuinely, idk why anyone buys food from them. Healthy food what, the eggs are still raw. Though ig it's like those meal plan service so they explode in the microwave instead.

I have been massively coping with this woman.

I have one merch from Hoyoverse and it's Luocha and it's the only thing keeping me alive at this point.

Also, I took a look and I'm 90% sure every single previous intern she hired used AI to code. Not that she cares since all her menu items are AI.

Right, unless you SEE the food, don't buy it because it's probably AI. Like, literally almost all food service company that is kind of like tech-y or whatever is using AI to make the photos for their food (or they're starting to).

I miss my old boss, even if he was a Mushoku Tensei fan, at least he was cool Mushoku Tensei fan.

Nod Krai dropped in Genshin and Flins in the second half so I can pull him on my birthday hahaha

We went from ONE gay ship in Genshin to a THREESOME.

(๑•ㅂ•)و✧