What do you think ?
This happened a couple of summers ago. The three of us, Jeanne, Nesrine and I, had been close since high school. Over time, our larger friend group faded and we became known as a trio. I was the quieter one who preferred small gatherings, while Jeanne and Nesrine loved going out.
After high school, Jeanne moved to a city four hours away, while Nesrine and I studied closer to home. We would reconnect during summers in our hometown.
One night, Jeanne and Nesrine went clubbing in a nearby city. Before leaving, Nesrine told Jeanne she planned to go home with a guy she liked, Yoni. Yoni arrived with his friend Mathis, who hit on Jeanne throughout the night despite her refusals. Nesrine even told Yoni to warn his friend to back off.
When it was time to leave, Nesrine offered to pay for a cab for Jeanne. But unexpectedly, Jeanne decided to go home with Mathis instead. Nesrine says she was surprised but did not want to physically intervene, assuming Jeanne was making a clear decision since they had both drunk about the same amount. Nesrine left with Yoni; Jeanne went with Mathis.
According to Jeanne, Mathis stopped by his place, invited her upstairs and they had sex before he drove her home. The next morning she described the encounter to Nesrine as consensual but disappointing, complaining mostly about his lack of aftercare. Only later, back at university and after talking to her friends, did Jeanne begin to see it as rape, saying she had been drunk, pressured and unable to think clearly.
When I heard Jeanne’s version, I was shocked and angry at Nesrine for leaving her. In my view, even if your friend says “yes,” you cancel your plans and make sure she gets home safely, especially if she is with someone she found uncomfortable all evening.
Later, I listened to Nesrine’s side. She said Jeanne did not seem incapacitated, that she had tried calling her when she didn’t answer, but she admits she never went to check. That is what frustrates me most. I know Nesrine is smart and that if Yoni hadn’t been involved she probably wouldn’t have left Jeanne at a stranger’s place.
Today, Nesrine and I are still friends, but we no longer speak with Jeanne. I tried to support Jeanne, but she began unconsciously blaming Nesrine, and I ended up stuck in the middle while rumours spread through our old group that Nesrine had set Jeanne up. Mathis was barely blamed anymore, only Nesrine.
I still believe things could have been handled differently, but in the end only Jeanne and Nesrine were there that night.
What do you think? What would you have done?
