I'm lost

I'm always thinking in a contradictory way. Am I proud of myself or do I just really think I suck ? Am I wasting my time reading yaoi or is society excepting me to give more of my time to work ? Do I have dreams and passions or am I just living life with no real goal ? Is that a good or a bad thing to have no goal ?
What's my goal exactly ?
How does one find a goal ? Were we just all born with a goal ? How is it defined then ? Why does everyone around me have a goal, and why do I find most things useless ? Can this be fixed ?

Am I good or bad ? How do I know if I do good or bad ?