how do you cope with missing how your family used to be?

how do I cope or grow or what do I do with the fact that me and my siblings arnt close right now? Im 1 of 10 - second oldest daughter. because of life were all just growing at different paces- some are early teens some, some late, some little kids, im 20 - were clashing a lot more and everyones going through their phases and were not close anymore and I hate it but theres not much I can do I can focus on my younger siblings who I have better relationships with but I grew up with the first few generations and I just miss everything but I know I have to move on,. I juts dont even know how to act like a sister anymore. i also know that as we get older things might get better but were all going through a lot right now and I need the comfort of my family.