How to get out of bed?

I've tried putting a giant 6 foot tall teddy bear on my bed, flipping my mattress upside down, pouring water on my bed so its too wet to lay on. I feel like I've done everything but I still find a way to curl up in the corner and hide. I spend about 23 hours a day in bed and I'm so ashamed of it. Any tips? And not bullshit like get a routine or go to the gym. I've tried again and again and I need a new angle to attack life at because that one doesn't work for me at this time. (๑•ㅂ•)و✧ I'm gonna get out of this shithole! I'm done!!