I pierced my eyebrow and my mom has stopped talking to me
Sorry in advanced for the long note, just wanted to rant
I'm from a somewhat conservative family. But even so I was allowed to do multiple piercings on my ears but when it came to my face my mother showed her disapproval very clearly. In general she's a very easy going person and she also takes pride in the fact that I am a good child, I listen to her and I've been excelling academically.
On the contrary I've got issues. I have severe depression which is undiagnosed thanks to my parents not willing to accept that their child might be having some mental issues. I've history of self harm, and still do it in some ways. And to cope with those self harming urges I decided to get multiple piercings on my ears (which was like 4 years ago). Present day, I'm getting the same urges, and so i decided to pierce my eyebrow instead. Typically my mom is an understanding person, or atleast she pretends to understand so I don't kill myself or harm myself. But when she saw this piercing she cried in front of me, I was like why are you making such a big deal out of a piercing. Then we had a talk and it seemed like she understood why I did what I did. But after she got out of the room she started acting distant from me. Like she won't react or interact with me like she used to. She has been treating me like a stranger for 3 days now.
I have grown up having a decent relationship with my parents, so this is completely new and hurtful to me. What do I do, like I know I'm not in the wrong for doing whatever I want with my body since I'm an adult, I just live under the same roof. But her reaction to this is making me second guess my decision. I've been a rebellious kid my entire life, I used to get scolded and it ends at that. This is completely unfamiliar to me, from someone who's currently the closest person to me.
Messages
First of all, I am sorry that you are going through this, my mum used to punished me like this too, not talking to me when I said something she disapproved of.. which was very easy in her mind.
You got me worried though, it sounds ike you have been struggling for many years, as you said yourself, getting your piercing done was also a form of self-harm. Your mum might have intuitively felt that, too. But she doesn't know what to do or how to talk to you. It looks like you haven't found a healthy outlet for your emotions yet and there is lack of psychological safety at home. I don't know how old you are (you mentioned being an adult), but at some point you can seek mental help legally without them knowing , and depanding on your country or insurance, it might be fully covered. Even calling a free helpline might a step into a good direction, where you can also talk about situations like this.
I don't know what your mum needs to talk to you again. Sadly for me, I would try ty please her more and show her that i am a ''good girl''. Really bad submissive tactics, which also hinder my adult life now. What is more important than what your mother needs, is what you need. I hope you have some other people to talk to you and seek connection.
Thank you for being so concerned about me, also thank you for your insight. It's really embarrassing that even though I'm an adult, I still thake such routes ro handle my depression. Also I'm 22 and I'm studying for my degree and it's normal in our country to depend on our parents financially till we get a stable job. So that's why I live under the same roof. Wish I had time to prioritize my mental health more, but I don't mainly because of my degree. But thanks again for your support
I’m so sorry to hear that. This message might not be the best but I would suggest that you give her some time. Maybe ur mum needs time to process the information and also the fact that you are struggling with your mental health. From someone who also lives in a conservation household where piercings are not allowed I completely understand. But I do hope that you feel better about everything over time because in the end it does get better
Thank you for your concern. Also she knows about my mental health, but she thinks that because I'm scoring good marks academically and do my due duty as a child, I'm "cured". You are probably right, I should give her more time. Thanks again